Some people worry that going for couples counselling represents some kind of failure or weakness. In fact, it can be a great opportunity to explore what is or is not happening in your relationship and to make some changes that lead to your couple life being both happier and healthier. Of course, some couples come for counselling because there has been some kind of crisis and there is doubt, for one or both members of the couple, as to whether the relationship is sustainable at all.
When you start the counselling process, I will be aiming to understand as much as possible about the perspectives of each member of the couple. My intention will be that each person feels heard and given equal space to express their thoughts and feelings. Another part of my role is to facilitate good communication between you and your partner and also to help you understand your situation as fully as possible. To that end, at times, I will highlight and reflect back important points that are made and also invite further exploration of potentially significant areas.
A key priority for me is to create a safe and supportive environment where you feel secure and confident to express your thoughts and feelings as openly and honestly as possible. I will say very little, if anything at all, about myself personally, as the focus of the sessions is very much intended to be on you and your couple relationship.
I will also be seeking to understand the influences and back story of each person and how these impact on the couple relationship. In doing so, I will invite each person to expand their own self-awareness and interest in their partner’s internal world.
Consequently, it is important for those seeking couple counselling to be prepared to be as open and honest as possible about what they are thinking and feeling. Some people find it easier than others to talk about feelings and personal issues but this is something I will support you with and work at a pace that is right for you.